3 days into 2019 before it came to my attention that I have yet to sum 2018 all up with the last entry for the 365 journal concept that I came up in 2018.
While many started their year end celebrations, in preparation for Christmas as well as the countdown to the new year, as early as end of November, we were doing our last minute scramble (my partner and I that is).
No not for Christmas presents nor getting into the festive mood to be merry and jolly, but to complete our final lap of trainings and talks, from north China Shenyang, down to Tianjin, down to Shenzhen, before we made our way back to hot and humid Singapore sometime in early December to wrap up our work and continue preparations for some meetings and a talk on 28 December.
Would we ask for other ways to end 2018?
Well maybe. But we loved how 2018 ended for us.
We celebrated our Christmas eve with a small handful of angels who chose to end our DCI Level 9 study group with a party!
And then Christmas day for us was... sleeping in.
Boxing day was preparing for our talk on the 28th.
28th was the talk itself followed by a supper of prata and teh-o iced limau and then a much needed crash in -- I think I slept for 10 hours.
Then 29th was a costume party where I dressed as a comical nerdy seed doctor just to entertain people and make them laugh.
Finally 30th was a day of relaxation and just doing nothing much but watching TV series like Lucifer.
The best way to end the year for me, is to spend it with my loved ones. Nothing fancy. Just spending quality time over dinner, no phones, just heart to heart conversations. Followed by a movie where we laughed without consideration even when majority of the audience didn't find the scene or line mildly amusing.
By 11pm we were out of the movie theatre and instead of joining a raving crowd for the count down, we made our way to the 24-hour supermarket to get some last minute groceries for tomorrow's smoothie!
It's so surreal to see kids bouncing at the carnival past 11pm, families thronging Tampines Hub, filling up the eateries.
7 Minutes Left to 2019
And what do we do? Instead of blending into the crowd that's drawn towards the nearby stadium for fireworks, we grabbed one another's hands and weaved our way back home!
"We can still make it! Hurry!"
"At most we will shout Happy New Year to korkor (my elder brother) when we arrive at the gate!"
"No shouting, the kids are sleeping!"
Our legs were carrying us back home as fast as we could, undeterred by the heavy grocery bags that were slowing us down.
We arrived right in front of the doorstep and the countdown started -- thanks to the unknown neighbour from the opposite apartment yelling, "20, 19, 18..."
HAPPY NEW YEAR?
Even though I celebrated the 1st second of 2019 with 1 foot in my home and the other out, I never felt more fulfilled.
Most think that counting down to the new year, that is new year's eve is that sacred ritual where you wrap the year that had gone by nicely into a box and then send it packing.
Have an elaborate celebration, called the countdown party, and yep goodbye 2018 and hello 2019!
But I think otherwise. Feel otherwise.
Sometimes we are in such a rush to move forward that we are too quick to leave everything behind. Maybe we do want to leave our unpleasant experiences, our painful memories of 2018 and before behind, hoping they don't catch up with us. In this rush, we forsake all our beautiful experiences, our heart-warming memories too. It's as though launching into a new year means wiping the slate clean.
And it repeats itself year after year.
Then we feel like we are just moving forward because that's the only way to go, anyway. We then suffer from amnesia, partial or total. We have a fuzzy memory of all the good we've done and experienced over the years... but strangely, we have a stronger sense of the bad.
Then we repeat the process in hopes that it waters away those unwanted feelings.
But of course, not everyone thinks or feels this way. Not everyone thinks or feels in the same way, anyway.
A New Year, Always A New Start
All things constant, there will always be a new year... which means there will always be a new start!
Last year, I did my new year's resolutions about the 2nd or 3rd day of 2018. Full of motivation, eagerness, and determination.
But this year, before I set any new year's resolutions... I guess it only makes sense if I review how I did with the resolutions I've set in 2018. Otherwise it's just a complete waste of time and effort.
So this year, before I set any resolutions, I am going to review the year that has gone by... list 3 things that I would improve, 3 that I will continue doing.
BUT, instead of beating myself up for what I DID NOT achieve, I am going to commend myself for what I DID achieve.
I can already see that 2019 is a year of positive reinforcements.