Daily Journal: From page to blog

You Can Have Fears & Failures But Just Don’t Quit Writing

November 19, 2019 By jeannzhuang Leave a Comment

I actually didn’t feel like writing today. The idea of “fears & failures but just don’t quit writing” came but the following thought of “yeah I’ll write later” came almost immediately.

I resisted it.

And usually resistance is futile. I mean, how often do we beat procrastination?

Distraction is usually the first sign when you don’t feel like writing

Since I didn’t feel like writing now, why not go look for content, like do some research? — Says the sneaky mind.

Which I did.

I googled “failure and quitter” and clicked images to look at what quotes there are. Definitely didn’t see an uppercut coming my way that was going to snap me out of this rut and into writing.

Here’s a screenshot of what I saw:

Failures & Quitters

What really smacked procrastination in its ass and got it moving? Let’s talk a little more about the ones that got me writing.

Winners… Are not those who never fail but those who never quit.

Obviously writing isn’t a competition, but let’s put it into context: we win if we write, not just 1 time (although that’s a start), but when we write consistently.

Sure, there are times we give in to procrastination or think our writing is utter crap and why are we wasting our time writing again when we obviously aren’t gonna make the cut? Will our drafts get rejected? Will publishers think we should just bugger off and never again submit a draft? And get remarks like, your writing is amateur. Unpolished. Blah blah blah.

Hell, yes. Those are the times when things fail to go our way, but just don’t quit.

There are no failures, only quitters.

I haven’t failed, I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.

One of the most common causes of failure is the habit of quitting when one is overtaken by temporary defeat.

I think the three quotes above are pretty self explanatory. Easy to say, don’t quit. And for those who haven’t failed before in their lives, what do they know about failing and failures? The feelings and mental torment that comes with it. All the self-doubt and self-pity that consume you and render you effectively useless.

I’m no Edison, and who knows if he actually did say “I haven’t failed, I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” But he’s got a point. Failing doesn’t make you a failure.

The book isn’t going to write itself if you quit.

Become So Good They Can’t Ignore You

Pick those broken pieces of fragile ego up and get your shit together. Stop focusing on how bad you feel, or how lousy you are. Get better at it. Not to prove anything to anyone, but become so good that they (the publishers, the readers, the PR agencies, whatever) can’t ignore you. They will want to publish your books, they want to read your books, they want to share your books.

Focus on what matters.

Direct your energy on producing what matters.

If it matters to you, you’ll find a way. If it doesn’t, you’ll find an excuse.

And excuses are amazing at disguising themselves as “I’m not good enough,” “It’s not me, it’s them.” All the victim mindset, low self-esteem, and even conceited arrogant B.S. will jump right out to deflect you from what you SHOULD BE doing.

But how?

After reading Cal Newport’s Become So Good They Can’t Ignore You: Why Skills Trump Passion in the Quest for Work You Love, instead of hanging on to my passion for writing, I’m more interested in developing my skills to become the writer I’ve always wanted to be. Because if I truly claim to love writing, then I need to respect it as a craft, and hone it.

And I believe you can and you should too.

Hello Insomnia! And finally Inspiration decides to strike… write now.

November 18, 2019 By jeannzhuang Leave a Comment

Usually when insomnia strikes, inspiration goes on strike. Or when inspiration strikes, you’re busy with something else. But this time around, something really abnormal happened:

Insomnia strikes together with inspiration, like an unexpected duet.

That said, it’s really the jet lag that’s causing the insomnia. But insomnia’s insomnia right?

I had a really crazy creative brainwave where ideas for videos come flooding in, and for once, I wrote them all down in my notebook.

YAS.

And how have this got to do with writing?

Lessons learnt and scored:

1. When you can’t sleep for the 1st hour, stop trying to sleep.
2. Get up and DO SOMETHING about mastering a skill you have been thinking about.
3. Jot ideas in your notebook.
4. Always have a notebook for your ideas near you.
5. Seize the opportunity and write about it: Even one paragraph, or a short article, like this.

The point is… Point 5.

I read an article in Forbes title 22 Micro Habits That Will Completely Change Your Life In A Year (Even though the permalink says 2 years), and the 2nd micro habit in the article caught my attention. Well obviously, it’s about writing, that’s why.

2. Write one paragraph.

Whether you have a book you’ve always dreamt of authoring, a business plan that’s been in the back of your mind for a while, or even just a blog you want to start, write just a few sentences each day. The momentum will build on its own and you’ll find yourself effortlessly writing more and more… but commit to just beginning with one paragraph.

So yes, I’m just putting into action what I read this morning.

Thanks insomnia, thanks inspiration, but most of all, I’m glad I jumped into action.

After all, writing is a verb.

Write one paragraph: mission accomplished.

[Midnight Musings #1] Turning 34, And I Go Where’s The Handbrakes?

March 8, 2019 By jeannzhuang Leave a Comment

The period between 1am and 2am seem to have an effect on me. When it’s time for bed after a an exceptionally intense day—where I had to type in Chinese to communicate so much—my mind goes, you’re turning 34. And I go, “Where’s the handbrakes?!”

The Start of Midnight Musings—Hopefully Not The End After A Pilot

So I officially term this effect, midnight musings. When my mind chooses to let loose and unwind instead of shutting down. Since I’m awake still, might as well make the best of it to write, right?

4 Years Ago: Yes, I Was Once 30

I threw a birthday party. Would like to call it BIG but soon-to-be-34-me is saying it was a BIG waste of money. I probably dumped S$1000 or more on the party and booked some boutique hotel that apparently halved their suite side but didn’t change their photos on the website.

Think about what I could have done with the S$1000 now.

So I was 30, immature—maybe the other half of Jelly would say I am still immature—but definitely reckless and had a who-gives-a-damn-about-the-world attitude.

Until that unforgettable moment that I frequently mention to people who remember, that moment that seemed to have frozen in time during my 30th birthday bash. Yes, that moment where my petite mum, all of 1.5m tall—1.55m?—stood next to the queen bed in the hotel room, amidst the cacophony of voices competing for attention, TV, rustling of food bags and what not.

If we spoke, we would have fought. Our relationship has been strained for so long that I can’t remember how that came to be. But silence between us, is considered harmonious co-existence. And that was a good thing.

But all I remember, even till now, is that time stood still. All I see is my mum, even as I am typing away on my phone right now, standing there, watching what’s going on like an innocent bystander, unaware that I’m looking directly at her.

At that very moment, my heart ached. For once, it became painfully visible to me—for I’ve been so self-absorbed—that she has aged so much over the years.

That Moment Changed My Life, By Giving It A Nudge.

Earlier today, I stumbled out of my bedroom, looking disheveled. And the first thing I did, and had to do, is to go to the kitchen and look for Mum.

There she was, doing her chores. I greeted her good morning and she thought I had just woken up. It was already 12.30pm—but by now my mum is used to me being jet lagged.

I asked her if she’s cooking lunch or if she could buy me lunch, and her response was when do I want my lunch, and she will go get it.

And she would knock on my door to let me know before she headed out to get lunch… and then when she got back, she would let me know that lunch is ready!

Then we had lunch together and chatted for a bit.

It’s Always On Hindsight, But It’s Never Too Late

I feel so grateful. My mum had to risk her life to deliver me. I feel grateful not only because I’m alive, but I’m still alive because she gave me life.

And I’m grateful that I have finally mended our relationship and we can share a meal, chat and laugh together over trivial matters.

I’m grateful she showers me with so much love and attention like I’m 21 even though I’m turning 34.

Turning 34 And Pulling The Handbrakes

And the reason why I want to pull the handbrakes is so that I can catch up on all the time I’ve wasted and lost for not spending more time loving and caring my mummy.

Turning 34 for me, means 34 years of being my mum’s daughter. And without her, I would never be able to turn 34.

Dear mummy, I love you. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. Thank you for giving me life, and everything you could have possibly given me. I love you.

[Gratitude Journal] There’s Countless Things To Be Grateful For

March 6, 2019 By jeannzhuang Leave a Comment

#感恩日志# 无限的事情能感恩

1/100, 3月5号2019, 周二

昨晚交了一个新的业力小伙伴 @towardssun — 我们要帮彼此学习与进步！@towardssun 想要把英文学好来，而我呢，中文英文都要学好来，写好来，讲好来！一起种种子吧！种子小小，果实大大！

我们的约定呢，是至少写一句：@towardssun 写英文，我写中文。

就从感恩日志开始。。。我至少写一句中文，剩下就用英文吧！

[Gratitude Journal] There’s Countless Things To Be Grateful For

Day 1 of 100, 5 March 2019, Tuesday

Yesterday I made a new karmic partner Celine — we are helping each other to improve our languages! Celine wants to learn her English well, as for me, I want to learn both Chinese and English well, write well, and speak well! Let’s plant seeds together! Seeds are small, fruits are big!

Our commitment is to write at least a sentence: Celine in English, me in Chinese.

Starting with the gratitude journal, I will write at least one sentence in Chinese, and the rest in English!

So I guess the cold must have been brewing over the past few days and decided to unleash its full potential last night, so I’m officially down, but not out.

2019 so far has been nothing short of a cheetah, racing across January with 2.5 weeks in Sedona College of International Management (SCIM) for the DCI training. Followed by about 10 days of a major festive season in Asia, the Chinese New Year then the next, or the last, 3 weeks sped by too.

I left home on 15 February and landed in Singapore on 1 March for a quick dash back home to downsize my luggage for a last-minute trip to Xiamen & Quanzhou in China before finally returning home yesterday evening.

Finally I can pause and take a short breather, and to begin counting my blessings.

There’s really countless things to be grateful for…

1) Qiqi Upclose & Personal: Co-Founder of Action Pi

Extremely grateful to Qiqi, 行动派琦琦 the co-founder of Action Pi, a global leading youth learning community. A new breed of education enterprise.

There’s so much to share about the event itself, but for starters, I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to listen to the insights of a successful entrepreneur. She may be petite but she’s not a force to be reckoned with. Impactful, insightful and influential.

2) DCI & Action Pi

Extremely grateful to my bosses, the VPs of DCI, who groomed me and gave me countless opportunities. And with their trust, I was able to present 1 of the 2 foundational tools of the DCI seed system at the last 2 events.

In particular, the 4 Steps!

3) Action Pi’s team & DCI project manager Celine

The Action Pi team is young, energetic, and amazing. Thank you guys for your good work! And thank you for the thoughtful gift. And of course, Celine, who takes care of the project and us extremely well! Kind, responsible, responsive, very intelligent and dependable.

4) Jeann Zhuang (Hey, that’s me!)

For listening to my body to take it slow, even though there’s just so much to be done. For realising that even though my XiaoMi body composition scale tells me “Congratulations, you’re very healthy” even though I am feverish, having a sore throat, body ache and flu, I should rest more today.

Grateful to have the wisdom to take care of my own health—and thank you to Qiqi for the Chinese medicine.

It takes wisdom to realise that being busy doesn’t mean I’m productive. And attempting to accomplish a lot doesn’t mean I’m productive too.

5) Kuching Public Talk team

Thank you Allison, Felicia, Joanne, Mong Lian, Ric, Siaw Hui for taking time from your busy schedules to have a ZOOM call online so that we can discuss how to make the event a successful one. With the same motivation, to share the DCI seeds system to 500 people in Kuching so that they too can transform their lives with these universal principles!

Day 329 – 365: Sum 2018 all up, and tip over to 2019

January 3, 2019 By jeannzhuang Leave a Comment

3 days into 2019 before it came to my attention that I have yet to sum 2018 all up with the last entry for the 365 journal concept that I came up in 2018.

While many started their year end celebrations, in preparation for Christmas as well as the countdown to the new year, as early as end of November, we were doing our last minute scramble (my partner and I that is).

No not for Christmas presents nor getting into the festive mood to be merry and jolly, but to complete our final lap of trainings and talks, from north China Shenyang, down to Tianjin, down to Shenzhen, before we made our way back to hot and humid Singapore sometime in early December to wrap up our work and continue preparations for some meetings and a talk on 28 December.

Would we ask for other ways to end 2018?

Well maybe. But we loved how 2018 ended for us.

We celebrated our Christmas eve with a small handful of angels who chose to end our DCI Level 9 study group with a party!

And then Christmas day for us was... sleeping in.

Boxing day was preparing for our talk on the 28th.

28th was the talk itself followed by a supper of prata and teh-o iced limau and then a much needed crash in -- I think I slept for 10 hours.

Then 29th was a costume party where I dressed as a comical nerdy seed doctor just to entertain people and make them laugh.

Finally 30th was a day of relaxation and just doing nothing much but watching TV series like Lucifer.

And 31st?

The best way to end the year for me, is to spend it with my loved ones. Nothing fancy. Just spending quality time over dinner, no phones, just heart to heart conversations. Followed by a movie where we laughed without consideration even when majority of the audience didn't find the scene or line mildly amusing.

By 11pm we were out of the movie theatre and instead of joining a raving crowd for the count down, we made our way to the 24-hour supermarket to get some last minute groceries for tomorrow's smoothie!

It's so surreal to see kids bouncing at the carnival past 11pm, families thronging Tampines Hub, filling up the eateries.

7 Minutes Left to 2019

And what do we do? Instead of blending into the crowd that's drawn towards the nearby stadium for fireworks, we grabbed one another's hands and weaved our way back home!

"We can still make it! Hurry!"

"At most we will shout Happy New Year to korkor (my elder brother) when we arrive at the gate!"

"No shouting, the kids are sleeping!"

Our legs were carrying us back home as fast as we could, undeterred by the heavy grocery bags that were slowing us down.

We arrived right in front of the doorstep and the countdown started -- thanks to the unknown neighbour from the opposite apartment yelling, "20, 19, 18..."

HAPPY NEW YEAR?

Even though I celebrated the 1st second of 2019 with 1 foot in my home and the other out, I never felt more fulfilled.

Most think that counting down to the new year, that is new year's eve is that sacred ritual where you wrap the year that had gone by nicely into a box and then send it packing.

Have an elaborate celebration, called the countdown party, and yep goodbye 2018 and hello 2019!

But I think otherwise. Feel otherwise.

Sometimes we are in such a rush to move forward that we are too quick to leave everything behind. Maybe we do want to leave our unpleasant experiences, our painful memories of 2018 and before behind, hoping they don't catch up with us. In this rush, we forsake all our beautiful experiences, our heart-warming memories too. It's as though launching into a new year means wiping the slate clean.

And it repeats itself year after year.

Then we feel like we are just moving forward because that's the only way to go, anyway. We then suffer from amnesia, partial or total. We have a fuzzy memory of all the good we've done and experienced over the years... but strangely, we have a stronger sense of the bad.

Then we repeat the process in hopes that it waters away those unwanted feelings.

But of course, not everyone thinks or feels this way. Not everyone thinks or feels in the same way, anyway.

A New Year, Always A New Start

All things constant, there will always be a new year... which means there will always be a new start!

Last year, I did my new year's resolutions about the 2nd or 3rd day of 2018. Full of motivation, eagerness, and determination.

But this year, before I set any new year's resolutions... I guess it only makes sense if I review how I did with the resolutions I've set in 2018. Otherwise it's just a complete waste of time and effort.

So this year, before I set any resolutions, I am going to review the year that has gone by... list 3 things that I would improve, 3 that I will continue doing.

BUT, instead of beating myself up for what I DID NOT achieve, I am going to commend myself for what I DID achieve.

I can already see that 2019 is a year of positive reinforcements.